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Monday, 24 May 2010

Oddities of the Mind of a Writer

Sometimes being a writer is like joining this little one person cult that has all kinds of weird rituals and rights of passage. Everyone has their little things they do to keep sane while they lock themselves away and the only salvation of sanity is the clicks of the keys while the gears of the mind spiral and contract. Here's a quick list of some of my tweeks as a writer:

Personally, I can't write when there is noise or someone else in the room. I don't even like writing if someone is sleeping near me. I need to be alone with my thoughts in the most quiet space possible. No music or movies, I get too distracted. I don't even like writing in places slightly foreign. I prefer to stick to habitual routine. I understand people travel but even then, get the hell out of the hotel if I'm trying to pound out a page or two before we do something.

I need the internet. "Walking away" from a project for me is messing around on Twitter or a message board or reading what weirdo will be talking about anal alien abduction on coast to coast AM tonight. I need these things when the words lose their meaning and I'm stuck with a brain that could be spooned out through my ear. Really, who doesn't want to hear the latest news on Werewolves and the plight of the chicken farmers whose chickens are dying from monsters stalking their fowl during the full moon? Georgy Noory, I salute you.

While working on a project, if long form, like a novel or something I try to read stuff that is absolutely not like the book I may be writing. Since a lot of my stuff tends to involve heinous killing or other dubious situations, reading a horror novel just isn't something I condone. If I'm gonna get inspired, it'll be by way of the ideas not stealing someone else's concept and repacking it to suit me.

Also, I advise writing in different forms as well. If you're into journalism, short articles keep the brain going when it seems like it's out of gas. It's pretty easy and fun to write a few paragraphs on why a band totally sucks or why a book should be used as toilet paper. I LOVE being a negative critic. I take extreme pleasure in explaining song for song why a band needs to get into a van wreck for the horrid music they've given the public to consume.

I also like to keep something to drink handy as well. No alcohol though, I'm not Bukowski or Hemingway. BUT, when I'm not writing, it's always Miller Time. I seriously can't think of any activity on earth outside of writing that I partake in that isn't better when drunk. Really, I mean this. Beer and Jagermeister work wonders from church to picking the kids up at preschool. ( I don't have any kids, but a little nip never hurt anyone before the screaming starts) Day drinking is the best time to get wasted, life seems really funny if your plowed at 3pm and the rest of the world are doing something productive.

If you own a foam cowboy hat, they work wonders for the creative juices. Just popping one on makes me feel like I'm the coolest sheriff in the universe. Foam cowboy hats rule. If you're unfamiliar with said head wear, you need to google them shits like, right now.

Oh, lastly I really believe in practicing what you preach so to speak. I write about some really weird stuff and my room is full of odd things I've collected over the years. I think trinkets of what you aspire to be need to be around as reminders of what you are and what you can be later on.
For instance, I have a lot of religious candles in my room as well as portraits of Marilyn Monroe and Louis Armstrong as well as skulls everywhere and my own stuffed raven.

Coast to coast, foam cowboy hats, day drinking and a stuffed raven. Yep, another successful posting to show what a jackass I am.



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