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Monday, 19 July 2010

A grumpy literary agent wades through query fails

With foggy dreams about the graceful future and with beautiful butterflies tangling within my tummy, I write this query email.

Sorry, I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.

I have yet to be published, but that is only because I have yet to try.

And I have yet to win the Tour de France, Nobel Peace Prize, or the Quail Hollow Hog-Calling Contest, but that’s only because…well, you know.

Dear agent, first of all, let me tell you that I have applied for a copyright for my book, so I hope you will respect that.

Curses! Without a copyright I would have outsourced your book idea to India, where a team of writers would carefully plagiarize it and then hand it back over to me. After which, I would put my name on it as author and ride it to glorious bestsellerdom.

Read more (courtesy Slushpile Hell)

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